The faint blaze of the candle of my life, slowly dying like a fire in a pouring rain. No sparks of hope inside, no shooting stars on my sky. I'm on broken wings, no flying high...

        Another night for me, another demise comes... Cadaverous wind blowing as cold as ice. And I'll let the wind blow out the light, because it gets more painful every time I die...

        I'm out of strength to fight, I cannot take another night, I cannot take it no more! Lust of lights slips through my fingers, like blood on my arms, showing me my darkest surface of mine, as the black candle wax has buried me...

So close, no matter how far,

Couldn't be much more from the heart,

Trust I seek and I find in you,

I never opened myself this way,

All these words I don't just say,

No, nothing else matters...

Lived a life so endlessly, saw beyond what others see, and the lights you left remain but it's so hard to stay, when I have so much to say and you're so far away.

If I had the letters "HRT" I could add "EA" to get "HEART" or "U" to get "hurt" but I rather use "U" to get "HURT" than have a "HEART" without 'U"

        Why?... Why won't you listen? Why won't you forget it? Why do you cling to her that much? Won't it be better, if you were to move on? Without you, we cannot move on, all four of us must be together to move forward, but why do you decide to choose her.... so badly?

        My Heart... please answer me, why do you choose her? Your choice has led us all into pain. We can bear the pain because it doesn't hurt us that much but... your condition... you have almost reached... the precipice of death...

        My Heart... why won't you choose another person? Whisperer... you are the Hidden Heart, the H Pendant, you are suppose to make your choice well as you are the one with the most wisdom! Or is this... the wisest choice you said that you'll make when the time comes? Remove your hood! Remember all the words you've made! The promise! As long that the promise is not destroyed, there's no hope between us and her... Have you forgotten that?...

A Slumbering Night

        Jealousy and pain that I'm feeling has finally come to a stop. And so, I have awaken, from this void of infinite darkness.

        As known by everyone, a promise is something that one should always keep. Those who broke their promises are nothing more than scums in this world. Everyone has their promises to keep, I too, have a promise to keep. This promise is very hard to keep for it has only a thin membrane that is very fragile and easily penetrated.

        If this keeps on, it will only hurt both of us. Let this promise to be kept forever shall we? I'll try and stop loving you, this will make sure that it will always be kept. You should as well, stop loving me, for it will destroy this promise. If this promise I made towards you is destroyed, then it shall be kept, for eternity, until the end of all mankind...

        It's been a while for me to lay defeated in darkness, it was because once I reached the shore I was too exhausted and  frustrated and finally, unconscious. When I woke up, I found myself in infinite darkness, can't find my way out.

        Under wandering stars I've grown, by myself but not alone. I can't stay in this darkness for any longer, time to stand up, be strong! There's no such thing as a one way path I believe, if you are able to enter the world of darkness, you have the ability to leave it. For I have adapt to this path of mystery, I can fight it, darkness with darkness!

        I was walking in darkness before I lay defeated, so now, I shall run! Open my hands, claw the wall of darkness, run, absorb, as if I am darkness itself! I'll never know whether I am running in circles, and for the absorption I've done on the wall of darkness, I shall use it! Focus! Concentrate! Channel! And unleash it in order to destroy this road! The road of infinite unknown!

Sleeping Sun

The sun is sleeping quietly 

Once upon a century 

Wistful oceans calm and red 

Ardent caresses laid to rest 

For my dreams I hold my life 

For wishes I behold my night 

The truth at the end of time 

Losing faith makes a crime 

I wish for this night-time 

to last for a lifetime 

The darkness around me 

Shores of a solar sea 

Oh how I wish to go down with the sun 

Sleeping 

Weeping 

With you 

Sorrow has a human heart 

From my god it will depart 

I'd sail before a thousand moons 

Never finding where to go 

Two hundred twenty-two days of light 

Will be desired by a night 

A moment for the poet's play 

Until there's nothing left to say 

What Hurts The Most

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let em out

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though
Goin' on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And havin' so much to say
(Much to say)
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do, oh
Oh yeah

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
(To say)
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do

Not seein' that lovin' you
That's what I was trying to do, ooo

        Why is this thought of mine, a thought of my time come in mind once again? Maybe is because in this world, every action took by everyone only cared for themselves, and not considering how other's feel... some even commented on one's action while he himself does the same......

        Why does human fear death? Why can't they think of death the other way? Death is no more but a cycle of life, when one dies, he will be reborn into life once again, only losing memory. But for me, what is left to live in a selfish world like this? I rather be outside of this world, to another world in my mind......

    For the past few months, I've been swimming in this sea...... it was large...... I cant seem to find a shore...... so I kept on swimming until I found what I'm looking for...... but....... right now, I am starting to feel tired...... should I stop? Or should I continue? But I'm tired... I guess I'll stop...... and let myself drown into this sea...... this black sea...... a sea filled with eternal regrets...... peacefully......

        Have anyone ever felt the same way before? Both regret and sad feeling... a feeling which you could never explain...

        It all started when I told her those things... it was awful. Right now, I wish that she'd forget about me and find someone else, it is better this way for I had hurt her way too much... I will disappear from her life, preventing myself from being an obstacle in her life, blocking her future...

        There's no forgiveness in my action. I will do anything, even if it means sacrificing myself, to protect and save her... most importantly, to repay my debt to her..