And this time, it's you, well you too that I ain't sure whether you read this blog, but it cannot be blamed if you don't read it right? It has come to an end to this year now, it's my first year knowing you, and I had put you through countless miseries. My deepest apology to that. All these times you have got the wrong idea, I have always talked to you with the same identity, as a friend, nothing more. Well I wouldn't blame you if you are mad at me, it's not that easy after all. If you still want that memory we had to become reality again, I wouldn't mind it, but just one request - Don't think too much. Of course, you can remain those memory as a memory, no one will force you. :)

To The Restless Nights

Living in the light,
purging the blight,
shadows of despairing fear,
dreamt the Sleeping Sun.

Living with the darkest,
guiding the light,
descends with reflected fear,
blessed the Night Sun.

        Let all the memories that we shared, be the memories of nobody. Let all the words we spoken, be the words of the afterlife. Let all the winds we felt, be the winds of tragedy. For what you have done have sealed me from finding any reason to forgive all of you. You have asked me whether I am still angry at them for several times, you want the real answer? It is actually a 'no' even though I told you it is a 'yes'. What's the point of bearing grudge against people who aren't even worth the while? 

        The faint blaze of the candle of my life, slowly dying like a fire in a pouring rain. No sparks of hope inside, no shooting stars on my sky. I'm on broken wings, no flying high...

        Another night for me, another demise comes... Cadaverous wind blowing as cold as ice. And I'll let the wind blow out the light, because it gets more painful every time I die...

        I'm out of strength to fight, I cannot take another night, I cannot take it no more! Lust of lights slips through my fingers, like blood on my arms, showing me my darkest surface of mine, as the black candle wax has buried me...

So close, no matter how far,

Couldn't be much more from the heart,

Trust I seek and I find in you,

I never opened myself this way,

All these words I don't just say,

No, nothing else matters...

Lived a life so endlessly, saw beyond what others see, and the lights you left remain but it's so hard to stay, when I have so much to say and you're so far away.

If I had the letters "HRT" I could add "EA" to get "HEART" or "U" to get "hurt" but I rather use "U" to get "HURT" than have a "HEART" without 'U"

Children Of Bodom

Conflict and terror hear the noise.
You're on the edge of a nerve-racking force.
Oh, my god, here's the fight.
Never siege, never riot, must defy.

Well look at me, what do you see?
Another trophy, a living dead beat
Close your eyes, take a step with me
You're soft.. no time to waste

Insanity and abnormality
Careful what you call reality.
What will always want
It was the day that you should die!

I'll never wait for another pain of death!
With the bullet in my gun and don't fuck over my shit!
Can you hold my crazy as I go?


INCOMING!

Say one, more word, 
I double dare you, BRING IT ON!
It's my world, you're in it, 
it'll take you down in a minute.

You can alter your look, 
Diversify your hate.
But the truth seems like,
A slap in your face!

When you look at me, what do you see?
Another trophy, a living dead beat
Close your eyes, take a step with me
You're soft.. it's no time to waste!

Insanity and Abnormality
Careful what you call reality
What you will always want,
It was the day you should die!

INCOMING!

Say one, more word
I double dare you, BRING IT ON!
Its my world, you're in it
It'll take you down in a minute

You can alter your look,
And diversify your image.
But the truth seems like,
A slap in your face.

INCOMING!

Welcome To The Family

Hey kid (hey kid)
Do I have your attention?
I know the way you've been living
Life so reckless, tragedy endless
Welcome to the family

Hey, there's something missing
Only time will alter your vision
Never in question, lethal injection
Welcome to the family

Not long ago you'd find the answers were so crystal clear
Within a day you find yourself living in constant fear
Can you look at yourself now?
Can you look at yourself?
You can't win this fight

And in a way it seems there's no one to call
When our thoughts are so numb and our feelings insecure
We all have emptiness inside
We all have answers to find
But you can't win this fight

Hey (hey kid)
I have to question
What's with the violent aggression?
Details blurry, lost him too early
Welcome to the family

Hey, why won't you listen?
Can't help the people you're missing
It's been done, a casualty re-run
Welcome to the family

I try and help you with the things that can't be justified
I need to warn you that there is no way to rationalize
So have you figured it out now?
So have you figured it out?
You can't win this fight

And in a way it seems there's no one to call
When our thoughts are so numb and our feelings unsure
We all have emptiness inside
We all have answers to find
But you can't win this fight

Gunning for you and all mankind
I've lost my mind
Psychotic rabid dementia
I won't be fine

I see you're a king who's been dethrone
Cast out in a world you've never known
Stand down, place your weapons by your side
It's our war, in the end we'll surely lose but that's alright

So have you figured it out now?
So have you figured it out?

And in a way it seems there's no one to call
When our thoughts are so numb and our feelings unsure
We all have emptiness inside
We all have answers to find
But you can't win this fight

Deep inside where nothing's fine
I've lost my mind
You're not invited, so step aside
I've lost my,
Deep inside where nothing's fine
I've lost my mind
You're not invited, so step aside
I've lost my...

Spoken words reflects my nature,

like a mask with pretty carvings and patterns all over it. 

Written words reflect my true feelings,

true emotions which is always hidden.

If only the Moon will shine brightly just for me,

there comes the day that never comes.

        Why?... Why won't you listen? Why won't you forget it? Why do you cling to her that much? Won't it be better, if you were to move on? Without you, we cannot move on, all four of us must be together to move forward, but why do you decide to choose her.... so badly?

        My Heart... please answer me, why do you choose her? Your choice has led us all into pain. We can bear the pain because it doesn't hurt us that much but... your condition... you have almost reached... the precipice of death...

        My Heart... why won't you choose another person? Whisperer... you are the Hidden Heart, the H Pendant, you are suppose to make your choice well as you are the one with the most wisdom! Or is this... the wisest choice you said that you'll make when the time comes? Remove your hood! Remember all the words you've made! The promise! As long that the promise is not destroyed, there's no hope between us and her... Have you forgotten that?...

Exit light

Enter night

Now I lay me down to sleep

Pray the lord my soul to keep

If I die before I wake

Pray the lord my soul to take

Little baby don't say a word

And never mind the noise you heard

It's just the beast in your head

A Slumbering Night

        Jealousy and pain that I'm feeling has finally come to a stop. And so, I have awaken, from this void of infinite darkness.

        As known by everyone, a promise is something that one should always keep. Those who broke their promises are nothing more than scums in this world. Everyone has their promises to keep, I too, have a promise to keep. This promise is very hard to keep for it has only a thin membrane that is very fragile and easily penetrated.

        If this keeps on, it will only hurt both of us. Let this promise to be kept forever shall we? I'll try and stop loving you, this will make sure that it will always be kept. You should as well, stop loving me, for it will destroy this promise. If this promise I made towards you is destroyed, then it shall be kept, for eternity, until the end of all mankind...

And so, the boy fell into a deep sleep.

The struggling flames lay in the ashes.

One by one, rise up and swell into that lovely face.

Thousands of dreams float above the Earth.

Those dreams...

On the night when silver eyes trembled,

you were born in a sparkling light.

Though hundreds of millions of months and years will pass,

I will continue to pray.

Please deliver this love.

Let us join our hands and kiss.

        It's been a while for me to lay defeated in darkness, it was because once I reached the shore I was too exhausted and  frustrated and finally, unconscious. When I woke up, I found myself in infinite darkness, can't find my way out.

        Under wandering stars I've grown, by myself but not alone. I can't stay in this darkness for any longer, time to stand up, be strong! There's no such thing as a one way path I believe, if you are able to enter the world of darkness, you have the ability to leave it. For I have adapt to this path of mystery, I can fight it, darkness with darkness!

        I was walking in darkness before I lay defeated, so now, I shall run! Open my hands, claw the wall of darkness, run, absorb, as if I am darkness itself! I'll never know whether I am running in circles, and for the absorption I've done on the wall of darkness, I shall use it! Focus! Concentrate! Channel! And unleash it in order to destroy this road! The road of infinite unknown!

Sleeping Sun

The sun is sleeping quietly 

Once upon a century 

Wistful oceans calm and red 

Ardent caresses laid to rest 

For my dreams I hold my life 

For wishes I behold my night 

The truth at the end of time 

Losing faith makes a crime 

I wish for this night-time 

to last for a lifetime 

The darkness around me 

Shores of a solar sea 

Oh how I wish to go down with the sun 

Sleeping 

Weeping 

With you 

Sorrow has a human heart 

From my god it will depart 

I'd sail before a thousand moons 

Never finding where to go 

Two hundred twenty-two days of light 

Will be desired by a night 

A moment for the poet's play 

Until there's nothing left to say 

7 Days To The Wolves

The wolves, my love, will come

Taking us home where dust once was a man

Is there life before a death?

Do we long too much

(And never let in?) 

Howl

Seven days to the wolves

Where will we be when they come?

Seven days to the poison

And a place in heaven

Time drawing near as they come to take us 

This is my church of choice

Love's strength standeth in love's sacrifice

For the rest, I have to say to you

I will dream like the god

(And suffer like all the dead children) 

Howl

Seven days to the wolves

Where will we be when they come?

Seven days to the poison

And a place in heaven

Time drawing near as they come to take us

This is where heroes and cowards part ways 

Light the fire, feast

Chase the ghost, give in

Take the road less traveled by

Leave the city of fools

Turn every poet loose 

Howl

Seven days to the wolves

Where will we be when they come?

Seven days to the poison

And a place in heaven

Time drawing near as they come to take us

Howl

Seven days to the wolves

Where will we be when they come?

Seven days to the poison

And a place in heaven

Time drawing near as they come to take us

Hero

Coward

No more

Ain't my horoscope similar to me?

天蝎座 

天蝎的本质：执著
不要怀疑了，天蝎的一切特性，都源自其执著，对自己的目标的追逐，对自己信念的坚定，对自己的路的坚持，都源于他的本性——执著！很少有人比蝎子更痴情，那也是蝎子对自己爱情的执著。这个本质对于蝎子来说是其成功的一个要素，不过一旦一个蝎子被野心所控制，那么就会对整个世界造成影响。
　　因为太过于执著，所以天蝎无论是怎么样的，都会表现出过激的反应，对于在自己目标上的障碍，他们会不留情的去铲除。所以对于蝎子来说，冷酷与其说是本质，不如说是天蝎所常的一个手段，用冷酷来保护自己，是一个蝎子最基本的办法！这个在后边解释！再说说城府，很多人在提起天蝎的时候都会说这个星座的人城府很深！其实不然，天蝎只是对于事物的看法不那么容易表现出来，我们宁可把自己的感觉用行动表现出来，也不习惯用言语表达，所以给人以阴沉的感觉。
　　由于对自己信念的执著，所以天蝎对自己所做的一切都是一个投入，一种全身心的投入，这个优点是其他星座所没有的，所以天蝎做事情一般都会成功，因为他们的投入。不过天蝎并不是很在意结果，他们在意的只是过程中自己的投入，只要他们想做的，就从来不想让自己留下遗憾，所以结果如何，对于蝎子来说不是最重要的，重要的，是他们尽了全力。所以蝎子都很喜欢这个感觉，无论是做什么，那怕是报复……
（关于“执著”这点，不置可否，“执著”只可以说是中性词，可以说是坚持不懈，同样也可以理解为倔强、死脑筋，我似乎偏向于后者。其次关于信念目标这些太大太空的东西，我说不太好，但关于蝎子喜欢“走自己的路让别人说去”，这点似乎说的恰如其分，至于感情方面，这种说不清道不明的东西，恐怕只有自己心里知道，不说了。最后关于蝎子“冷酷”和“城府”，对于我来讲，我“冷”是缘于不自信，缘于对自己表达能力的不自信，决非耍酷，更不是“有城府”，在这点上说得很符合。）
　　天蝎的共同特点：冷静
　　这个是所有天蝎的特点！在任何事情里，天蝎都喜欢用冷眼看，用自己的理解去分析，从自己的这个方面来判断对自己的影响，天蝎所信奉的是：事不关己！高高挂起！这个也是你不去招惹蝎子，蝎子很少主动去招惹你一样！
（呵呵，我没它说得那么高深，什么“用自己的理解去分析”，更没它说的那么可怕，但别招惹我确实不假。）
　　所有的天蝎都孤独
　　没有一个蝎子不孤独的，而且他们不害怕孤独，反而可以去享受孤独的滋味。蝎子每过一段时间都要去自己单独的呆一会，他们这个时候会反省自己以前一段时间里所做的一切对于自己现在来说是对还是错误的！不过，他们并不渴望孤独，相反，他们他们渴望的是有人可以把他从孤独里带出来，所以他们会异常的珍惜他们的朋友和爱人，因为只有和真的朋友在一起的时候蝎子才不会感到孤独，因为他们投入的特点，所以蝎子都会十分的厌恶背叛和欺骗！他们不会去背叛和欺骗自己的朋友，同样，他们也同样的要求自己的朋友和爱人不可以背叛自己，欺骗自己。
（是不是所有的蝎子都孤独，我不知道，但我知道我确实很孤独，圈子小，朋友少，有些事不方便和父母说，更少有信得过的朋友能直言肺腑，所以孤独一说，确实很在理。至于“厌恶背叛和欺骗”，我想常人都会这么做，只是蝎子更明显而已罢了。）
　　天蝎的字典只有对和错
　　在天蝎的字典里，只有对和错两个选择。在人群里，天蝎的分类大概是最简单的，一个是与自己有关的人，一个是与自己没关的人，在与自己有关的人里边，只有朋友和敌人的分类！很多书都说蝎子是一个水与火的结合，是一个两个极端的结合，没错，的确是这个样子，天蝎的世界是最简单的，因为在他们的世界里，除了对，就是错，没有第三条路。这个观点体现在所有的蝎子身上！
（我有这么极端？！）
　　天蝎致命的弱点－感情：
　　蝎子并不是人们通常所说的那个样子，是一个冷血动物，他们的冷酷只是他们的一个伪装。一个保护自己脆弱的心的伪装，蝎子不是象大家想象的那样坚强，他们的投入有一个最致命的弱点。大家都知道期望越大，失望越大的意思，所以，蝎子通常不把自己的感情投入到一个人身上，所以他们用冷酷来吓退自己不感兴趣的人。对于蝎子的报复的，很多人都提起过，说到感情不可以不说天蝎为什么要那么样的报复曾经“对不起”他的人，如果你从上边看到这里，那么你应该可以明白，为什么蝎子会在报复的时候那么的狠毒！
　　对于蝎子而言，感情是专一的，是真诚的，蝎子可以无视别人对你的看法，只要他认为你是他的一个朋友，你可以十恶不赦，可以吃喝嫖赌，可以之前是人尽可夫的妓女，可以是个卑鄙无耻的骗子，只要你对蝎子是真诚的，那么你就是他的朋友。不过请注意，蝎子是会在一些小事情上来感觉到你对他的感情是否是真诚的，不要以为你可以欺骗蝎子，除非你可以做到滴水不漏，在任何事情上都防备蝎子！否则，你会先尝到蝎尾的毒针！

La Reflexión - Lycan

Diving deep into the sea,
Searching for the sunken treasures,
Flying high up to the sky,
Looking for a brighter sky,

Once dive and fly,
Looking back would be rare.

Burning in Heavenly Flames,
Freezing in Hellish Water,
Once reached your goal,
The other, reached as well.

Reflection or illusion,
All is you to choose.

This is what's playing in my head all along...

"We are humans, not animals. We don't know what kind of people we truly are until the moment before our deaths. As death comes to embrace you, you will realize what you are. That's what death is, don't you think?" - Itachi

In order to escape a road of solitude, one has to work hard, and forge a new path with their own power!. - Gaara


Religion, ideology, resources, land, spite, love or just because... No matter how pathetic the reason, it's enough to start war. War will never cease to exist... reasons can be thought up after the fact... Human nature pursues strife. - Pain


The best way to escape reality without running, is smiling even though, it is obviously fake. - Sai


Peace under an illusion is not true peace. It's only meaningful if the real world manages to accomplish it. - Gaara


There are tons of things I dislike and I don't really like anything. - Sasuke


People share only one common fate... Death. - Neji


There probably isn't any meaning in life. Perhaps you can find something interesting to do while you are alive. Like how you found that flower. Like how I found you. - Orochimaru


I am sane. It's this world that's crazy.  - Kariya


Do you know what's the difference between a king and his horse?? INSTINCT!!!! - H.Ichigo


Humans are always talking about hearts. It's as if you hold them in your hand. But my eyes see everything. Nothing can get past it and what it doesn't see, doesn't exist. That's the way I've always fought. What is a heart? If I rip open your chest, will I see it? If I crack open your skull, will I find it in there? - Ulquiorra


If history repeats itself, and moves in a circular path, then believing that whatever force is turning it is perfect, is all we can do as we move ahead. Pushed along by forces beyond our control, waiting, for the blade to be swung. - Rukia


We stand in awe Before that which cannot be seen, and we respect with every fiber that which cannot be explained. - Rukia


It's so very difficult for me to hold back and step on an ant without crushing it. - Aizen


People are able to hold onto hope, since death is that which cannot be seen. - Rukia


When you are sad, the rain comes down... when you are moody, it becomes cloudy. It rains in here, too. I can't stand it. Can you understand? How horrible it is to get rained on when you are all alone in an empty world? - Zangetsu


How I envy the feeble and frail... If I were inept, I could simply blend in, not stand out, and get lost in the crowd... I yearned to be just another sheep... And if that was asking too much i'd settle for ... walking amongst the lions. - Starrk

        I don't know whether those words of yours are meant for me, if they really are for me, then I wish to let you know, I'm sorry if I really did hurt you, but have you ever realize, that you've hurt me badly as well?

        Last Saturday night, I've had a beautiful dream, or a beautiful nightmare if you want to put it. It was of us, walking back home, we were talking, and you were smiling, even thought I didn't show the slightest curve on my lips... We even said goodbye when we reached our own home...

        It was really beautiful... I guess this is why they call is a 'dream' because it is happening oppositely in reality...

What Hurts The Most

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let em out

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though
Goin' on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And havin' so much to say
(Much to say)
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do, oh
Oh yeah

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
(To say)
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do

Not seein' that lovin' you
That's what I was trying to do, ooo

        Trust? I cant seem to find one in anyone, only disappointments I find in everyone, even myself. If being regular means being fooled, then I rather evolve into a greater form.

        Too much struggle I've been through in my life, the good and evil tango in me is slowly rotting apart, turning into bones, strangling one another to survive. Alas, they both failed and rotted into nothing more but mere bones...

        But, they made a pact, if being as 2 bodies and souls doesn't comes compatibility, why not just merge? For my reincarnation is completed, I once again rise from the dawn of a new life, as a dark sun, giving out darkness to whoever I gaze, slicing apart whoever that stands in my way! In the name of the Whisperer!!

        It's been a while since I've been so close to you, every thoughts I had in my mind just disappears when I saw you. 

              

        As stars lean down to kiss you, I lie awake because I miss you, and by thinking about you, I don't feel so alone. How can a whisperer whisper when no one's there to listen? Maybe I'll make a move? After all, you are the one to make the decision, so I guess by doing so I won't break my promise?

        Why is this thought of mine, a thought of my time come in mind once again? Maybe is because in this world, every action took by everyone only cared for themselves, and not considering how other's feel... some even commented on one's action while he himself does the same......

        Why does human fear death? Why can't they think of death the other way? Death is no more but a cycle of life, when one dies, he will be reborn into life once again, only losing memory. But for me, what is left to live in a selfish world like this? I rather be outside of this world, to another world in my mind......